The Collective Thoughts...

So, bear with me as there are two things you are going to have to endure if you dain to read this; Firstly…horrendous spelling and secondly I like to jump back and forth from topic to topic and time to time… hence the reason this isn’t a book, I guess I’m blogging, this is simply the collective thoughts of me, of my inevitable stumblings through life, love and sanity.

As far back as I can remember, I always thought I would never live past my 16th birthday, I mean, I just couldn’t picture it…insanity…well here I am and I wish I could go back to being 15 again…the things I would change! Now don’t get me wrong…this ain’t a woah is me story or owt, this is purely, as a child, we do not know how good we have it…I would re-do school, get better grades, not eat so many brownies…you know, get into a good habit an all…but in the words of Sir Allen “Hindsight is a good word!”

So…about me, I was a manager for a well known coffee chain…the reason for which is that at school, I never decided what I wanted to do…I thought about Law, Journalism, international show jumper or gymnast…however, my physique is not my selling point as you will find out, the further into my mind, you delve.

I first got a taste for business when I was 16 and impending dropping off of the edge of the planet never occurred, I figured I best do some work…ASAP. I took A-level Business Studies…and you know; I did ok. So much so I have had 2 attempts at business degree’s since (attempts were all they could be called, as combined; I never studied for even a year!)

But either way, I got it…at last, I understood something without having to try to hard, it ‘clicked’. AT 16 I was made supervisor in my part time job; ever the bossy cow that I am, by a guy that would become my first real love and moreso one of my best best mates. He knows me inside out…I don’t think I’ll ever know him, Mike.

At 17, I was interviewed by Dan, my now infamous good friend and ‘ahem’ mentor (don’t let him know I refer to him in that term…his head would burst) plus I will write lots more about him later. At 18 I was in my stride and at my performance review the team I worked with in Bath positively hated me… I was patronising, and there I was thinking I was kicking some major ass!

At 19, I had dreams above my station, waved Dan goodbye as I wasn’t progressing at the light speed I expected to and went off to become an assistant manager for a really shit company, within a train station! However it was a salary and my personal life, was, well; Fucked. No more Mike. I bought a 4x4, a huge bloody beast of a car…hey break up buying!! I was thrown into the ocean of deep ends and, well I fell flat on my face, but…I must say, no-one ever knew that was the case…as me mum says I have the “gift of the blag” meaning I can pretty much put a positive swing on any situation, or simply that I bullshit with the best of ‘um.
At 20 I headed off for attempt 1 at uni, footloose and work free I got £6k in debt living in London off a major student loan (am shit with money!)

Was with a new guy then… He was wicked, spiritual…I felt a little invincible and very safe. My security blanket of Mike had been replaced and I had flown away from Bristol and away from my old life and problems…or so I thought!

Then there were others….some good, bad and indeed ugly…until I met someone whom I thought was very special indeed, but then life got in the way…then I found him…Matt…my age, got me, spoke openly and used the ‘L’ word more sparingly, which was a good thing considering how often it has been flown past my lips and up my skirt in the past… Matt isn’t me but male…he is just Matt, just simple and easy…both of us refer to the other in this most endearing term…he is honest and works hard and makes up for my failings in both departments…we work together in life, not against one another…

Life changes though...2 years on and Matt is still Matt... I on the oter hand have changed and there have been several further events to mess up my head!